Not Meant To Be Broken Read online

  She pushed me hard against the wall and I rested against it, glad that it was keeping me steady. All my blood had gathered in a certain part of my body, so I was glad for something to lean on. She smiled seductively and sank down on her knees in front of me. I had to give it to her: she didn’t mind getting dirty. Brittany licked her lips again and reached for my jeans. I stared up at the night sky.

  Unbidden thoughts of Amber penetrated my mind. Where did they come from? This wasn’t the moment to think about her. Her beautiful, shy smile made Brittany's sexy smile appear so horribly cheap. I felt almost guilty for wanting to fuck Brittany.

  Damn it. But I really really wanted to fuck Britt.

  Brittany pulled my zipper down and released my cock from its prison. I wanted to protest, but then Brittany's hot mouth closed around the tip of my cock and every sane thought left my mind. I groaned and leaned my head against the hard brick wall. I grabbed the back of Brittany's head to keep her in place, though she seemed comfortable enough. Hell, that woman knew what she was doing. Her tongue swirled around my tip, then she sucked me into her mouth as deep as it would go, and she was the only woman who’d ever managed to take all of my cock into her mouth. One day I had to ask where she’d learned to deep throat. I started thrusting and she hummed against my cock, the vibrations sending jolts of pleasure through me. She gripped my butt as I fucked her mouth. The sounds she made as she sucked me drove me fucking insane with arousal. Fuck, she was good. With a groan, I came into her mouth.

  “Fuck.” I exhaled. She rose to her feet and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand before she smiled at me triumphantly. “I told you, you wouldn't regret it. I keep my promises.”

  She leaned into my body and kissed me hard. I could taste myself on her lips. I snarled into her mouth, gripping her ass and squeezing it hard. My hands on her ass, I lifted her off the ground and she wrapped her legs around my waist, grinding herself against my groin. I turned us around and pressed her up against the wall, pushing my hips against her. Being with Brittany made me forget my problems. Everything was simple and uncomplicated with her. This was simply hot, raw sex, nothing else.

  No promises, no regrets.

  Just a meaningless fling.

  ***

  I set her down and disposed of the condom before putting my jeans back on. Brittany leaned against the wall, looking fucking pleased with herself.

  She kissed my cheek. “Let's continue at your place.”

  I frowned. I'd taken her home a few times before but Brian couldn't stand the sight of her, so those sleepovers were few and far between. And now with Amber being the new roommate, it was completely out of the question.

  “That won't work,” I said.

  Her blue eyes narrowed and her lips thinned. I knew what that meant: temper tantrum.

  “Why?” she demanded.

  I straightened and slid my hands into my pockets. “Because Brian's sister has moved in with us.”

  “So what? Is she such a prude that she can't listen to us having a bit of fun?”

  I didn't like how she talked about Amber. “Stop it,” I said tightly but my reaction made it only worse.

  “What is it? Are you screwing her, too? Is she a good fuck? Better than me?”

  I took a step toward her, scowling. Her eyes widened in shock. “Don’t talk about her like that.”

  “Fuck you!” she spat. “You can find someone else to suck your dick!” She stomped toward the door, disappearing in the building.

  I ran a hand through my hair and closed my eyes. As pleasurable as sex was with Brittany, I wasn’t sure if that was enough to put up with her personality. The door opened again and I expected Brittany to return but it was only Kevin.

  He grinned at me. “Brittany just stalked past me. She looked royally pissed.” That fact obviously caused him great pleasure.

  When I didn't say anything he continued, “What happened? Didn't you live up to her expectations?”

  I rolled my eyes at him. “My performance was outstanding as usual.”

  Kevin snorted. “You look ready to leave.”

  “I’m so ready to leave.”

  “So what got her panties in a twist then?” he inquired as we headed back into the club.

  “She wanted to go to my place for seconds and wasn't happy when I told her no. With Amber in the apartment, bringing Brittany wouldn't be a good idea. It would only upset Amber to listen to us.”

  Kevin scanned my face as we left the club in the direction of the car. It was unnerving to have him watching me like that. “What?” I snapped.

  “You like her,” Kevin commented.

  “Whom?”

  “Brian's sister of course,” he said before he dropped into the driver's seat. I didn’t know how he could stand the taste of non-alcoholic beer, but as long as it made him my chauffeur he could drink that piss water whenever he wanted.

  “Don't even think about it,” I warned him.

  His expression turned serious. “Why not?”

  “The girl went through hell. She sure as hell isn’t ready for a relationship,” I said a bit sharper than intended. And neither am I, I added in my mind.

  “You mean she isn’t ready for sex. Don't tell me you are that much of an asshole that you can't imagine being with her because you would have to live without sex for a while?”

  I scowled at him. “Shut up, Kev,” I taunted him with the name Reagan used for him. “It's not like you know anything about it.”

  Kevin gave me a pointed look. “I was exactly like you Zach. I was always looking for the next fling and I couldn't imagine being without sex for long but then I met Reagan.”

  A snarky comment lay on the tip of my tongue, but he kept talking. “Reagan was recovering from a bad breakup when we met and she made it pretty clear that she wasn't ready to jump in bed with me right away. But I was willing to wait because I cared about her.”

  “How long have you waited?” I blurted out.

  He looked uncomfortable talking about the subject. Before Reagan he hadn't minded to brag about his sexual endeavors. “A couple of months.”

  “A couple of months!”

  How could he have gone without sex for so long? I knew that Reagan had spent the nights in Kevin's apartment a few weeks after they’d started dating. How had he kept his hands off of her though she'd been lying in bed with him?

  My disbelief must have been plain; Kevin shook his head. “You are an idiot, Zach.” He started the engine.

  “Aren't we going to wait for Jason and Bill?” I asked.

  “They found some girls they're spending the night with.” Kevin's expression turned into a scowl.

  I chuckled. “I'm sure they'll have fun.”

  “You know, since I met Reagan I've realized that my life before her was empty. Some day you will see that being in a relationship is more satisfying than screwing around.”

  “For fuck’s sake, stop with that holier-than-thou attitude. You sound like a saint. Believe me, my life style is very satisfying,” I said with a grin; it felt almost forced. Never mind.

  “You're an asshole, Zach,” Kevin muttered, his fingers tightening around the steering wheel. Why did he even care?

  I shrugged. “So I've been told before,” I said casually. “Why don't you get on Bill’s or Jason's nerves with your new found morals?”

  “Because they are lost causes.”

  “And I'm not?” I barked out a laugh.

  Kevin didn’t reply.

  The rest of the ride passed in silence and I was damn grateful for that. I wouldn't have been able to endure more lectures from him. Sex was all I needed.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Amber

  It was silent in the apartment. I was alone, and for the first time in days the protective wall I always had around me when Zach and Brian were around was down and I felt almost relaxed. I walked out of my room and into the bathroom. I locked the door, even though I knew Brian and Zach wouldn’t be home for a while. Law school kept them busy most mornings. Yet a tiny part of me felt safer with the lock in place.

  I rushed through my shower as usual. Showers – they brought up too many horrible memories – memories I wanted to forget. The first few weeks after I'd woken in the hospital, I'd showered for hours every day, scrubbing my skin with scolding water until I drew blood. I'd tried to wash their smell away, but it was burnt into my memory and even after all those years I could still smell them on my skin. No matter how much vanilla scented shower foam I used, their stench remained.

  The psychiatrists told me that it was my imagination. They didn't know how it was to smell those bastards on me, to see their leering faces whenever I closed my eyes, to hear their taunting words in my dreams, to feel their hands on me. Maybe it was my imagination, but for me it was part of my reality. I was trapped with the haunting memories of that day for the rest of my life.

  I shut the water off and stepped out of the shower before more horrible thoughts could take hold of me. I wrapped a towel around my body and twisted another one into a turban atop my head to keep my hair in place before I unlocked the door.

  Pumpkin was mewing loudly. I followed the noise into the living room and found him sitting on the loveseat, looking tense. I took a few steps toward him when I noticed movement in the corner of my eye.

  “Nice towel,” said a male voice.

  I whirled around, clutching the tiny towel still tighter against my body. My muscles seized with fear. On the sofa sat two men. Both of them tall and imposing. Terrifying. One of them had dark skin and he looked impossibly strong. The other was leaner but not less intimidating.

  My breath stuck in my throat and my vision narrowed, turning black at the corners.

  It will happen again.

  happen again

  happen again

  happen again

  I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t run, couldn’t do anything.

  The smaller man with blond locks stood and walked toward me, a leering grin on his face and it reminded me so much of the grins of that night.

  Their grins. Taunting and leering.

  I backed away from him, shaking my head desperately. The blond man took another step closer to me and the man with the dark skin got up, looking angry and dangerous. ‘No’, I wanted to say, but nothing came out.

  “Hey, we're not going to hurt you,” said the blond man.

  I'd heard those words before, and shortly after my life had been destroyed. We won’t hurt you. You’ll enjoy it. You like it rough, bitch, don’t you? Scream for us.

  “Bill, you're frightening her, you idiot!” shouted the other man.

  My bare back hit the wall. I was trapped. Trapped. Trapped. The words rang in my ears, mingled with my screams from long ago in my head. I sank down to the ground and hugged my legs to my chest, rocking myself back and forth. Whimpers slipped past my lips and the taste of my tears lingered on my lips.

  “Fuck! That's all your damn fault, Bill, you fucking idiot!”

  “Shut up, Jason! What are we going to do?”

  “She looks like she's in shock.”

  “We need to call Brian.”

  “Are you fucking insane, Jason? Brian will kill us. Call Zach, he'll know what to do.”

  They were shouting, and they were so close. Too close. Too close.

  Fear paralyzed me. Memories, haunting and terrifying, kept flashing through my mind. I rocked harder. Let them go away, please. God, please, don't let them hurt me again.

  “Try to shake her out of it, Jason, maybe you'll get through to her.”

  A warm hand on my arm. Touching. Gripping. A scream ripped from my throat, raw and desperate. I pulled my knees tighter against myself, shielding me from what was to come, though I knew it was futile. It hadn't kept them from hurting me last time, it wouldn't stop those men this time either. I retreated into myself, seeking shelter in the darkness of my mind where I was safe.

  Zachary

  This lecture was by far the most boring thing I'd ever had to endure. Mergers & Acquisitions, or what I liked to call it: how to make rich bastards like my father even richer. I rested my forehead on my arm, drowning out the monotone voice of the professor and trying to get some sleep that I hadn't gotten last night.

  My phone vibrated in my pocket and my head shot up in surprise. I must have dozed off. I pulled it out without the professor noticing and checked the caller I.D: Jason.

  What the fuck did he want now of all times? The dumbass knew I was busy. I ignored him and returned my gaze to the professor with his checkered jacket and cord pants. The vibrating stopped and I was about to return my phone into my pocket when it beeped once, announcing the arrival of a message. I groaned and the person next to me shot me a dark look, which I returned with the same fervor.

  Fucking idiot.

  I stared down at my mobile and read the message Jason had sent.

  Bill and I need your help. Emergency!! A problem with Brian's sister.

  My eyes widened. What had those idiots done this time? I grabbed my things and hurried out of the room, ignoring the disapproving look of the professor.

  As soon as I was outside, I called Jason. “What the fuck has happened?”

  “Zach, thank god. Brian's sister, she's having some kind of panic attack.”

  “Where is she?”

  “In your apartment...” He sounded sorry. And damn, would he be sorry when Brian found out.

  “What the hell are you doing there?” I asked, already getting into my jeep.

  “Well...”

  “I don't fucking care, I'll be there in a few minutes.” Brian and I should have never given those two morons a spare key. I hung up on Jason and called Brian. He'd be furious. I knew Bill and Jason hadn't done anything to Amber, but having two unknown men in the apartment was probably a damn shock after what she went through.

  “Zach?” Brian whispered, probably trying not to disturb his lecture.

  “I'm on my way home. Jason called. Your sister is having a panic attack in the apartment,” I said in a rush. There was a second of silence before Brian exploded.

  “What have they done? I swear by God I'll kill them if they've done anything to Amber!”

  “Bill and Jason wouldn't do anything,” I tried to calm him but he was beyond reasoning.

  “I'll kill them!” With that the line went dead.

  I sped home in record time. Brian's car wasn’t there yet. I didn't waste any time and ran up the stairs. The door to the apartment was ajar and I pushed it open. I froze at the scene before me. Jason and Bill were sitting on the sofa, both looking pretty close to panic. No fucking wonder. Amber cowered on the ground, her back against the wall and she was rocking back and forth. Her face was buried against her naked legs. Her wet dark hair spilled out of the towel wrapped around her head. She wasn’t wearing anything but a bath towel. I stormed toward the two idiots on the sofa and grabbed Bill by the collar of his shirt, yanking him to his feet.

  “What the fuck happened here?”

  “We didn’t know she would freak out like that!” he muttered. I wanted to break every bone in his body.

  “What. The. Fuck. Did. You. Do?” I spit out each word, barely able to contain my anger. Bill always tended to fuck things up.

  “Bill was curious about Brian's sister because Brian is so damn secretive when it comes to her, so we decided to pay her a visit. We just wanted to talk and then she came out of the bathroom in her towel and when she saw us, she freaked out,” Jason explained hastily.

  I released Bill from my grip and turn toward Amber, taking a hesitant step closer to her. I didn't know what to do. Steps sounded in the hall and a moment later the door flew open and Brian stormed in, his eyes wild and furious. In his button-down shirt and oxford’s the expression looked out of place on his face. He glanced at his cowering sister and then he stomped past me and toward Bill. He punched him hard in the face. Jason backed away at once, raising his hands in surrender.

  “What the fuck?” Bill seethed thickly, holding his nose, which was bleeding pretty badly. Blood dripped down his lips and chin, and onto his ugly-ass shirt. Brian glowered at him. “I told you to stay away from her! Why couldn't you listen for once?”

  Bill shrugged, still holding his nose. “I thought you exaggerated when you said she was scared of men. I didn't know that it’s so...” He chanced a look at Amber, apparently trying to come up with a word to describe the situation. “...serious.” He finished lamely.

  “I'm sorry, Brian. If I'd known,” Jason trailed off, shrugging helplessly.

  Brian ignored him and approached Amber, then knelt a few feet away from her.

  “Amber?” he said softly. “Amber, it's me, Brian.”

  She didn’t react. Cautiously I moved closer to them and Brian sent me a desperate look but I didn't know how to help him. He crawled even closer to his sister and frowned deeply. “Jason, give me the blanket,” he ordered.

  I followed his gaze. The towel had slipped slightly because of the way Amber pressed her legs against her body. Her thighs were completely exposed; I would have been able to see more if I’d moved my gaze further up. I averted my eyes, not wanting to violate her in this way. She didn’t even notice that she was half naked. I crouched down beside Brian as he tried to cover her with the blanket. She jerked back, letting out a heartbreaking whimper. Brian closed his eyes for a moment, fighting tears. I squeezed his shoulder and he looked at me gratefully. He moved still closer to Amber and put the blanket over her legs. She’d become a statue. “Amber,” he whispered again. She didn’t react in any way, but her shoulders were shaking.

  Brian drew in a shaky breath, looking close to breaking. “Amber,” I tried to gain her attention but got nothing.

  A knock startled all of us and we turned toward the open door. Kevin stood there, his eyes wide as he looked at Amber.

  “I got home a few minutes ago and I heard a scream,” he said eventually. He shared the apartment down the hall with Jason and Bill. If he heard the scream, the entire floor must have too.

  Brian pinched the bridge of his nose. “Amber...I don't know what to do. It's probably best if we call a doctor.”

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